Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Natalie Portman, Stop Stealing My Bit!

Being knee-deep in semi-unemployment has really opened up a world of interesting possibilities for me. For example, today I stayed in bed until 1pm and then stared at a pile of ants that has been growing under our recycling bin for about an hour. Bliss.

Other things that unemployment has offered me is a lot of time to wail on my pecs, to watch MTV shows that make me want to kill myself, and also to write raps about Star Trek. So anyone who wants to be featured in my future bumpin' ST music video write some verses it will be so much fun.

In closing, I found out recently that my ex is having a child. As in a real child. Like one that comes out of a crotch. Like, congrats and everything, but this makes me feel weird in so many ways. Probably similar to Shatner when he woke up, fat and out of work, and realized that he would die alone with only his Star Trek fame to comfort his corpse. Or something.

5 comment(s):

Luke Woodard said...

Fuck that, obviously you haven't seen Shatner's priceline.com commercials. 'only his star trek fame'. Whatever, the guy's multi-talented.

He's a genius

chris said...

I knew the Kirk love would come pouring in! I love him too, but we both know he's past it!

Terra Borody said...

you make me pee my pants..just like in high school.

LUKE 'SHATS NO RAT' WOODARD said...

Well, I mean. Let's get real, the Shat isn't getting any younger, right? He's paid his dues, and he deserves nothing less than to sit in the presence of nubile thai lady boys and sip maitais on a beach somewhere in south east asia. But to write the guy off as a one trick pony? That's a disservice to the man AND his fans, which pretty much constitutes me.

In an effort to dispel any misunderstandings about his legacy, I went Shatner's IMDB page to clear this up, big Willy style. His page is longer than the fucking great wall of china. It has, I shit you not, at least 250 (mostly cameo) appearances in movies, television and voice work. The man is versatile.

chris said...

luke, i respect your creepy allegiance to the kirk. my newest post is in dedication 2u