Down Under

I just got some weird spammy forward email shit about a political petition in Australia from my ex "boyfriend" from Berlin, also known as STDaniel (Who you might just remember). Of course, upon receiving the email I had an instant anxiety attack, and then promptly banished the message into the deep loins of my garbage bin to prevent myself from scanning the mass received text for secret messages to me.

I'm sorry, but don't people know their internet breakup etiquette?

#1. Do not email unless you are saying:
a) I still love you
b) I'm drunk and depressed and I really love you
c) I hate you so fucking much!!!!
d) I may have given you an STD

#2. Do not email them AT ALL!!!
Delete the person from all your listserves, social networking sites, ESPECIALLY if you were a dick to them about Star Trek.

#3. I fucking hate Australians:
I know this is not an etiquette lesson, but I seriously do fucking hate Australians (and Australia). I have to say it out loud! Last month at Burning Man, some Aussie gave me a balloon filled with "helium" and I only found out once I was passed out on the floor of a moving vehicle shaped like a giant bunny rabbit that it was actually a Whippet. THEN the mothafucker tried to stick his tongue down my throat. Good thing Terra was there to beat the shit out of him. But seriously, this would only happen in the company of an Australian.

In conclusion, Australians: why do you ruin my life? You are officially banned from Trekkie Sex and it's not my fault you did this to yourselves.