Help! It's Ween Time!

I know y'all are getting bored of my mothafucking sexy trek outfit but I'm doin' it again for Halloween tonight and I don't care! I like the way it makes my boobs look and frankly I cant afford another costume. BUT I NEED YOUR HELP. I bought Spock ears to "spice things up" this year, but I can't figure out which female Vulcan to channel:

Valeris

or
Saavik?
Essentially it is a battle of Kirstie Alley versus Kim Cattrall! Tough call! Also, I'm not going to be wearing a wig but I will attempt Vulcan eyebrow makeup. Help! State your cases and why!

Today Whilst Dild Shopping Online...

I'm sorry, but could this vibrator look any more like a dead baby fetus?

Just Say Yes

I dont give a dick what the Star Trek PSAs say! Drinking and drugs do work! Today I was totally depressed about money and loans and my shitty classes and all I had to do was a) drink and b) do drugs and then ****POOF!*** Like a magic fairy lifting dust from my shouldertop all my problems just wonderfully whisted away*

*ya im still baked

To Bone or Not to Bone

Guinan

Would you or would you not? Why not? Why? And would it be nice? Discuss.

Who wants to breed with me?

This photo sets my ovaries aflame with thoughts I should not be having at 22.
They also come in red.

Songwriting and Brain Tumors

I have to write a song for my elective "Lyric and Libretto" class and I'm completely fucking fucked. I sat in the park for like two hours today with my concertina and nothing. Song writing sucks! I'm thinking I could just write a Trek related song? Any suggestions?

In other news it is exactly two years since my mom had brain surgery. I called her to congratulate her on not dying and ruining my life and I'm pretty sure she was a) wasted b) hilarious. The following is an excerpt from our conversation:

me: Mom, I'm screwed for this song writing class.
momma che: Stop whining!
me: I'm not whining!
momma che: Yes you are! You chose to do this course. Just write a song about me. Call it Live for Today.

In conclusion my mother is Bon Jovi.

Dungeons and Dragons

Okay, I just had the gnarliest dream and if I dont share it with the world I'm going to feel like a perv (more than normal). The set-up was a giant RPG real life Dungeons and Dragons scene where I was dressed up like an elf and basically kicked the shit out of everyone playing. But then suddenly to my dismay (delight?) the game basically turned into an enormous motherfucking orgy.

What does this mean? Has geekery really penetrated me this deeply?

Also: does anyone want to start a D&D group here in Vancouver? I miss playing it. I promise there wont be any orgies as I'm much too awkward IRL.

Klingon Sexy

Does anyone else remember in "Yesterday's Enterprise" (Season 3, TNG) when Worf is drinking prune juice with Guinan and describing how he cant "be with" anyone on the Enterprise because the women there are (pause) "too fragile"?
And then Guinan insists that some of the women would actually find him "tame"?

This scene grosses me out for the following reasons:
a) It makes me not want to have sex with a Klingon anymore because I might rip in half
b) It makes me think of Worf's gargantuan penile girth
b) It makes me think that Troi must have one BEAST of a vag

The Ultimate YouTube Video

For those of you who have been digging hamsters as much as I am, welcome to the ultimate in awesome:

STAR TREK HAMSTERS
ps im not even sure if this video is racist or not?

Hamster Report 2

I woke up today pretty depressed today after having slept about eighteen hours. Usually I blame these situations on my "mood imbalances" but I'm getting kindof sick of doing that and have begun to medicate myself with more hamsters and less sedatives. I go to MR PETS almost on a daily basis now and today they even had a NEW BREED:

Chinese Dwarf Hamster Facts:

• Three color combos: Normal/Wild type, Dominant Spot and Black Eyed White
• often used as lab testing animals
• often considered 'rat-like'
  
• they are my best friends
  

Then this weird old man with licorice hair came up to me at MR PETS and this is what happened:

guy: Gettin' a hamster, huh?
me: Yeah I wish...
guy: They're a whole lot of work!
me: (excited) Really? Do you have one?
guy: ...no
me: oh. bye.

This music video combines my two loves: Britney and Chinese dwarfs. bye.

The Boy Who Cried Worf

As I mentioned I am going through season three and "Deja Q" just popped on. Can I just say:
I FUCKING HATE Q!
I just dont understand why people like him, he fucking sucks! I get that he is kinda hilarious, but he undermines everything I like about TNG. He's too obviously funny, too comical. He calls into question the whole show, making it look like a joke, and making all of our lives a big joke.

Mintakans

I dunno, but doesn't Troi and Riker dressed as Mintakans, proto-Vulcan humanoids, seem kinda racist to y'all too?

Trek Bone of the Week

Miles Edward O'Brien?

Question of the week: to bone or not to bone Miles Edward O'Brien?Why or why not? How would you do it? Where? And do you think it would be nice?

Holadink

Only Geordi LaForge would simulate a holodeck scenario where he would get rejected after drinking coco no-nos on the beach and trying to grab some chicks' titties. Here.

I've been watching so much Season 3 (TNG) as of late, I'm trying to use trek instead of drugs and alcohol and so far it's working. Troi having a panic attack in Who Watches the Watcher? (Season 3, ep 4). Troi can pretty much do anything in that sassy season three version of her purple unitard and im not going to complain, amiright?

In non-trek news, I've taken up eating 75% raw food in my diet and let me tell you it has been bliss for my bowels. Follow my bowel movements by adding me on twitter.

http://twitter.com/trekkiesex

Trek Tits

Forgot to mention I wanted these Star Trek pasties too. But only for Burning Man of course...

Trekkie Meerkats Forever

In a month I turn 23, and while I realize this is still a "baby" in the eyes of most old people it still depresses the shit out of me. You might have noticed that when I'm depressed I usually try and fix this problem by doing one of four things: 1) binge eating 2) buying craft supplies and/or stickers 3) taking sedatives or 4) lusting after weird things on the internet.

Today is internet lusting day.

Here is my new birthday list:

• New Yar themed Sexy Trek Uniform (we all know the old one is classic, but it's getting a little "done")
  
• Star Trek Corset
• Hamster
• OMG
  
• More of the orig movies of DVD
  
• And, of course, motherfucking Star Trek Meerkat Dolls.

Wrath of Riker Computer Game

See, I'm not the only one who thinks Rikes is a psychopath douche!
Play the amazing game here.

Hamster Report

If you've been hanging out with me recently (which is rare seeing as I have no friends) then you would know I have become obsessed with hamsters. Today I realized there is a pet shop three minutes from my house and I spent four hours looking through their selection (which wasn't even that vast).

I don't know what it is that appeals to me so viscerally about hamsters all of a sudden, but I'm not one to question passion. Furbies, tribbles, tamagotchis, I love all of those guys. I found out today that there are 24 different species of hamsters.

Top Three Breeds of Hamster Awards:

1. Winter White Russian Dwarf Hamster (specific breed of dwarf hamster)
2. Teddy Bear Hamster (Agora Hamster)
3. Common Dwarf Hamster (Phodopus Hamster)

Hamster Facts:

• "Hamster" comes from a German word meaning "hoarder"
• Hamsters have to ingest their feces in order to properly get all nutrients from their food
  
• Some breeds fight when put together in a cage but some get will along
  
• Some hamsters will eat yogurt

Famous/ Creative Hamsters:

• Once Upon a Hamster TV show
  
• The Hamster Dance
  

Scorpions

Today I held a scorpion in my hand for 10 seconds. These two cheerleader blond girls with megaphones were yelling WHO WANTS TO HOLD A SCORPION? on campus and how could I say no? It was blue and it belonged to this man with a bald head who said "Doesn't have one" when I asked what the Scorpion's name was. The bald scorpion keeper then added,"Would you try and name a thing like that if you were me?" He also had both a taranchula and a long snake in his backpack.

The funny thing about this experience was that it didn't frighten me in any way. My performance impressed the cheerleaders and they entered me into a draw to win a blackberry phone because they thought I was so brave. If only real life consisted of constantly holding scorpions then I would be rolling in blond scorpion wielding cheerleader pussy all the time.