TREKKIE SEX

Stumblin' into Sci-Fi Saturdays

2012-01-22T22:04:00.000-08:00

Last night i literally stumbled into another cult ~again~ when a friend and i went to see an "art show" (i live in toronto its what some people here dooooooo[??]!)

Anyway, the show was basically just a hilarious mish-mash of portraits of famous TV aliens, as well as life size robot models, homo habilis portait (w00f!) and a bunch of women clothed in body paint and sexy shoes.There was also a notable lack of Trek-inspired art at the show [opinionmaybebiased] but I did manage to find a small series of flashy portraits of Kirk and the TOS-krew. not to shit on TOS but i have more of "picard taste" in my "art shows" -- so after i was accosted by 2 or 3 coked out scientolodudes and scopped the literal dungeon (not as exciting as it sounds) i went and got poutine.

Ever nice night, eh!!!!

Send in questions for the podcasts please!!!!! anyone that wants to!! cepurquhartATgmaldotcom!

TNG - Encounter at Farpoint AKA "MEN? wtf"

2011-12-14T21:12:00.000-08:00

Well, rebirth! Trekkie-sex-boomshakalaka! Welcome back to Trekkie Sex. Im also live-bloggin some classic eps so follow my twitter right here: MINDMELD @trekkiesex~~~;0)

Nine Point Review of Season One, Ep. 1 Encounter at Farpoint. all-aboard? Let's do this THANG!

Men never listen: JLP! Ya goon! Troi told you Q-dawg was smarter than you, whyd ya go sticking your wang out into the universe so forcefully???
FLYIN SAUCER SEPARATION ANXIETY!!!!!!
Did anyone else also think after the torpedos were launched and the theme song came on randomly that it was actually Q controlling youtube and remixing JLP's/our reality with the intro song to the fictional series of Star Trek TNG??????-- Oramijuststoned?
The late 20th Century "The Post Atomic Horror" set where JLP is put on trial kindof looks AND FEELS like BURNING MAN (seriously). Is this a good thing?
Is 2079 the new 2012? You heard it here first!
I'm stoned and live at home with my parents.
little person with a gong.
IMO JLP is the proof humanity is NOT DOOMED!

9. Do not miss that mirt!

For the record: If anyone ever approached me wearing this I would be both pleased and excited.

SPOCKROTICA

2011-11-01T21:01:00.000-07:00

"Your bizarre sexual preferences are highly illogical."

this is a photo of me in a bathroom in Salem Mass during a real live witchy party iamnotevenkidding

TO bone or NOT to bone

2011-06-30T12:41:00.000-07:00

TO bone or NOT to bone:

BRENTIE (as human, not android)

well hi universe, here i am in the lovely chicago, sleeping on my pals couch until 1pm everyday in a pile of my own filth and eating adderall like flinstone vitamins. i'm so glad i have a book deadline coming up that could make/break my career!!!!! as well as tons of abusive ex-esque figures in my life constantly collapsing my already fragile mental stability like a jenga skyscraper!!!! perfect, thanks be to god, im truly the pinnacle of mental health.

in other news: decided to get the hell out of New Orleans because, let's be real, the city is makes the Delta quadrant Akritiri look good by comparison. Im heading to Toronto if you wanna hang out and give me a back rub or hamster.

ROACH WOES

2011-06-09T08:59:00.001-07:00

New Orleans is kindof the worst. I moved here to finish my book on free $ scholarship money $ so I shouldn't be bitching about it (WHITE GIRL PROBLEMS) but I can't stop myself. Did anyone know it was one of the only known earthly portals to the underworld? If you did you're a dickhead and thanks for warning me.

Dear New Orleans, there are some questions I would like to ask you. Namely, why are you obsessed with vomiting out flying cockroaches and sewer rats into my face constantly?

Nothing is preposterous here.

Examples:

Deep fried alligator= not preposterous
BUrrying your dead above ground= not preposterous
Spending a good twenty minutes "ridding your sleeping quarters of negative voodoo energy" before sleep= not preposterous

One upside to being a flailing young writer in a creepy town where you have no friends is I have tons of time to update blogs. And watch the TREKKIES documentary for the bajillionth time. And eat numerous microwave dinners in single sittings not that i do that.

Trekkie Sex for NDP

2011-04-30T12:17:00.001-07:00

This photo is the main reason why I pre-voted for the Layman:
CANADIAN POLITICS MEETS TREK
Booyakasha!

Happy Birthday Shatner

2011-03-22T17:17:00.000-07:00

“Babies have big heads and big eyes, and tiny little bodies with tiny little arms and legs. So did the aliens at Roswell! I rest my case.” -William Shatner
(more like William Shakespeare...?)

PS Rule of thumb: if a dude you're interested in says Shatner is their "favourite captain" they are 900 times out of 10 a douche bag and also have a millions stds TRUE FACT!!!

Beam Me Up, Hottie

2011-03-21T22:50:00.000-07:00

I was generously given a FULL CAPTAIN MEMBERSHIP to www.startrekdating.com, what a TRIP! Unfortunately I do not yet have any friends---story of my life---so join it and then send me a message that says you have a crusheroo on me okay thanks!

in other news for the last 3 weeks doctors have been trying to convince me i had hepatitis A!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i dont, but i may as well as all i do is barf and sleep). i also got a million adderols if anyone wants to take them and stay up all night watching tng.

Bev Crushie

2011-03-20T13:52:00.000-07:00

I'm hungover and I misss my best fronds.

To Bone Or Not To Bone: Julie Bashir

2011-03-20T01:58:00.000-07:00

On This Weeks Edition of To Bone or Not To Bone....

Julian Bashir

on a personal note, julian bashir does kindof remind me of the two boyfriends i had (on two separate occasions) who were secretly in the closet. just saying.

TREK CASTS UP AGAIN!

2011-03-20T01:40:00.000-07:00

some of you have been having a hard time downloading my trekcasts, so i have uploaded them to podbean for your viewing pleasure!

Click here to listen to Eppie One: The Pon Farr and Eppie Two: Bones and Boners!!!! and if you want to ask questions for the next trek cast email them to me at trekkiesex AT gmail dot com!! thanks playaz!!!

Find Your O'Hura Online

2011-03-17T15:42:00.000-07:00

cute lil doods there

I'm a huge fan of online dating, for serious. I've seen it work a million times. My first love was found on the Internet at age 18 (NO JOKE!!!!) so when I was forwarded this link on Star Trek Online Dating i was excited.

www.startrekdating.com

by the way all i do these days is go out tanning and then come home and eat pesto sauce from the jar and then i also listen to the smiths

I need to make a Music Video ASAP

2011-03-16T13:41:00.000-07:00

As some of you might know, I move to New Orleans in like 2 minutes to finish my book and hang out all summer for free c/o the Canadian government (thanks god, love ya!). Anyway, this means I will be in the states, and much closer to conventions, including the NASHVILLE 45TH TREK ANNIVERSARY!!!! One feature I am particularly stoked on for this con (other than the SUNDAY MORNING KLINGON BRUNCH) is the MUSIC VIDEO CONTEST> I SO WANNA MAKE ONE!!!

Rules: one music video about STAR TREK may be submitted on DVD only (please no computer-based media like CD accepted). PLEASE USE ONLY NTSC FORMAT FOR YOUR DVD. Entries are judged on the following criteria: video quality, audio quality, editing quality, inventiveness, song selection, and originality. Humorous submissions are encouraged. Entries can not be returned, and person submitting entry is granting Creation the right to play this entry in perpetuity at Creation events worldwide and/or on line at the Creation website(s). Creation does not sell music videos so your entry will never be sold as a commercial product, just presented at our events/on line.

Winners will receive a $100 gift certificate good for Creation products. Winners will be announced and certificates awarded on site; if you are not present we will mail the certificate to you so be sure to include your return address, phone number and e-mail. You may email our offices at sharon@creationent.com to confirm receipt of your entry but we do not announce winners until the event. All entries are due at Creation offices by June 30th, 2011 with no exceptions. Thanks and good luck!

Note: Due to the high volume of entries for our Music Video Contests, we are forced to limit entries to those people actually attending the specific show they are entering for. You do not have to be present for the actual showing of your video, but you must claim your award on site before the end of the weekend or your award will be forfeited.

SEND ENTRIES TO:
Creation Entertainment
STAR TREK NASHVILLE Music Video Contest
217 South Kenwood St.
Glendale, CA 91205
More Deetz: HERE!
Im going to be the Ke$ha of the federation~~~

Trekkie Sex is Back From the Dead

2011-03-16T13:23:00.000-07:00

NuqneH, bitches! My friends have been dogging me to get posting up on this thing again. I've had a bit of a lapse in blogging that I will not get into (let's just refer to it as "a 6 month long crippling depression"), but I am crawling back into the world slowly and surely. so why the fuck not?

I had a pretty Trek-infused Valentines day this year. Above is a valentine I sent to Jesse in China. I also got the best Valentine of the century: a miniature origami Enterprise. SAY WHA???
Other winning val cards:

also, yeah I do realize it's the middle of march *whatever*.

Buy My Bike

2010-11-08T20:29:00.000-08:00

HI guys Im selling my wicked awesome VULCAN vintage cruiser so i can buy a roadbike. also because im poor and all i eat are mcdonalds. live long and prosper.

http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/van/bik/2050119592.html

Trekkie Sex Podcast 3 Needs YOU!

2010-10-29T00:50:00.000-07:00

HAPPY WEEN 2010!!!!!

JUST SO U KNO, IM DOING ANOTHER TREK PODCAST.

This time the theme is betazoid feelings.

RIGHT NOW MISSION:
send me ANY/ALL OF your questions about life/love/sex/trek to:
cepurquhart-AT-gmail.com PLEASE

dont know how to ask a babe out?
have strange feelings for someone of a higher rank?
tribble fetish?

In other news: the thing that I recently shoplifted was sleeping pills from a health food store
WHOOPS

dont you dare judge me.

Halloween Fail

2010-10-06T23:16:00.001-07:00

So, the only thing I hate more than myself this week is MY ENTIRE LIFE. This is how bad of a week it has been. If you were ever considering sending me fan mail to tell me you think Im great or a babe or have nice sweaterdogz THIS WOULD BE THE WEEK.

Ive been shopping all day for a belt in order to "spice up" my halloween costume, which (obviously) will just be Sexy Trekkie. Again. Im like that sad clown that people hire for a kids birthday parties because the bouncy castle was too expensive.

I actually just prepared a timeline of the decline of my trekkie outfit through the years then realized posting breast-centric photos of you year after year in the same outfit is depressing. So instead enjoy this photo of some skank who obviously has never seen a tribble in her life. Not that I have.

In other news, I've taken up an old hobby: pornography. Also, shoplifting. But more on that later. Bye!

Babies Again

2010-09-19T00:25:00.000-07:00

Its saturday night and I just ate two bags of chips and I hate my life! In other news, who can complain with this dudes? They are sending my ovaries into a spasm. Bye.

Best Craigslist Ad Ever, Part II

2010-08-22T23:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, I take it back. This might actually be the best Trek related Craigslist ad in the universe forever. The things one could "do" with this guy? Just saying...

Life Sized Locutus of Borg Star Trek Replica - $4500

"Rare "Number 006" of a limited edition of 500 made from a lifecast of Patrick Stewart (Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise) provided by Michael Westmore. This life-size replica of Locutus of Borg from "Star Trek: The Next Generation" stands nearly 8 feet tall (approximately 6-foot tall Borg with 2-foot tall base) and commands a powerful presence. The face is extremely life-like, the body is detailed and in excellent condition, and the base is superb. A true quality collectible that is part of "Star Trek" lore and TV history! The body is made from latex that is filled with foam, and the base is made of fiberglas. The figure incorporates make-up designed by Michael Westmore and costume designed by Robert Blackman, and the inscribed plaque features engraved signatures of these two artists as well as the Paramount logo and Starfleet insignia. Shipping must be arranged by the buyer."

Star Trek Dating Politics

2010-08-22T23:03:00.000-07:00

I think the person who I am dating is catching on to the fact that I use Star Trek 50% for enjoyment and the other 50% for chasing dick and/or pussy. This has become a real splinter in our relationship, and he (rightfully) must feel a little duped.

Main problems about dating a bigger Trekkie than you:

1. It makes you hate Star Trek
2. You have no power over them

Our matching trek uniforms are currently hanging side by side in my closet, limp, longing caress oily geek skin once again. But how does one cast their ego aside and admit someone else knows more about Star Fleet? Sigh.

If I haven't made it clear enough already....

2010-06-26T14:34:00.000-07:00

NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO TALK TO ME ABOUT THE FUCKING TREK CON 2010 I AM CURRENTLY MISSING WHILE WE SPEAK. Isn't it bad enough I have to speak at a pretentious whitey white conference where every second word is "pedagogy"? Have some human decency (mostly Kaitlin and Taylor for posting those pics). Thanks, BYE.

Best Craigslist Ad Ever

2010-06-25T08:46:00.000-07:00

This following personal ad was actually found on the real internet. Who wants to bet its my ex?

Looking for a crafty 'redshirt' - 30 (Toronto):

What I'm mainly looking for is someone who, occasionally, would be interested in dressing up as a red shirt member of a Star Trek away team. If you wouldn't feel comfortable in a short red dress and calf boots this not the ad for you. Typically, the scenario would be, you have become separated from the rest of the away team and are lost and scared, an ion storm cutting off your communication with the Enterprise. Read more here.

In other news, I am back in Toronto and it blows donkeys. WHY? Because im missing the convention in Vancouver. Also, today I found out Trekkie Sex has an exciting new following in Australia! Awesome! (Though I guess they never read this post...) "DOH"

Blow that Thang

2010-06-12T21:32:00.000-07:00

I'm watching the season one Ds9 ep "Progress" and I'm getting totes weirded out by the Nog- Baby Sisko dynamic. Does anyone else think they "experiment" behind closed hola-doors? Theyre a bit too tender. Also, Whoever that dick licker that said I wasnt a Trekkie because I never got into DS9 can seriously fuck off. Its not tru trek anyway, but I am sortof getting into it.

Today I was walking down commercial drive and this huge dude with a tuba started belting out the TNG theme on his beast. TUBULAR! (Thank god it was not a trombone).

DEAR BABIES: FUCK RIGHT OFF!!!!!!!!!

2010-05-29T17:03:00.000-07:00

A report on Babies by me

Babies, what the fuck?? I know I don't actually want you, but somebody better inform my salivating womb ASAP. I’m becoming a real creep. Once a week I sit in the park swinging on the swings (my roommate makes me do this so I can connect with my inner child more and heal my wounded “solar plexus” chakra). Instead I just end up babe lurking MAJORLY—is it just me or do all babies look like tiny delicious ducks?

The other day I sat in a coffee shop watching a young couple burp their adorable baby, and then I wanted to KILL MYSELF. As a coping mechanism I took off my bra and hit on the saggy aging barista behind the counter with the hopes he might be interested in my fertile womb: I came to my senses when I realized he was wearing a V-neck… Bad genes! Genetically prone to bad fashion choices!

I came up with an idea for a Trek movie: Baby Starfleet. It would be like the Wrath of Khan meets Muppet Babies meets ~~~beautiful heaven~~~! Can you imagine Spock as a lil dood riding around in a baby pouch? Or Shatner making a sour face the first time he tastes a Klingon Rokeg blood pie? Squeee! So yeah, dear producers of the Internet, this idea is mine copyright © 2010 but contact me if you’re interested.

Also, there’s a new documentary film out just in time for my ovulation cycle, which is aptly named Babies. This film follows four babies from across the world growing up— from Mongolia, Japan, USA and some other place (probably somewhere that speaks Spanish). Besides the fact this film has some major cultural relativism shit going on (baby poop is all the same color, amiright right guys!?) it doesn't stop me from wanting to murder and stuff all four of those lil fuckers so I can stare at them forever in my living room.

Well that's it. I realized I pretty much used this blog to complain about my failed love life in relationship to star trek, or talk about hamsters or yeast infections, and apparently now babies but hey c’est la vie. I might start writing in here more, but it will be 10% trek and 90% about fertility. Also if you want to impregnate me just send me an email and I will see if its ok with my boyfriend!!! Love You ~~~ <3>

Vote: My new Rollerderby Name

2010-05-26T01:17:00.000-07:00

Dr. CRUS-HER

or
Lt. O'HURTA.

Also, in other news, I was invited to sing on stage with Fred Motherfucking Penner. Evidence. No biggie. Bye.

15 Things You Didnt Know about Star Trek

2010-05-11T20:27:00.000-07:00

Yeah, more like 1 or 2.... but still cool. source.

Fashion

2010-04-22T17:14:00.001-07:00

I may or may not have just purchased a bajoran earing set off of ebay, just so y'all know. Kinda lovin' DS9 and Kiras sassy antics. I mean shes no Troi but I can manage.

What the Eff?

2010-03-05T20:30:00.000-08:00

JESUS HATES KLINGONS

The Cat Came Back

2010-03-04T17:59:00.000-08:00

Here's another portrait Linton drew. Im trying to join a Roller-Derby league and my derby girl name is Trek inspired. Romulan ale to anyone who can guess what it is.

Tonight I am going to the Fred Penner concert.Its 19+ and Im a total Fred Head. bye

Old Buds, Good Times

2010-03-02T18:26:00.000-08:00

If these Japanese assholes don't fuck right off with their spam messages on my blog I swear to Christ I'm gunna blow a gasket. In other news this is the best fucking drawing of me that has every existed by Linton.

I watched a part of that DVD where Nimoy and Shats hang out at Nimoys pimping house and talk about how they are BFF and how Nimoy used to drive a cab and how Shatner got more acting gigs back in the day because he was Aryan. Has anyone seen this? It's actually pretty funny, but also weird, like overhearing the gym teacher you had a crush on talk about sex when you're in grade three. They also basically discuss how Nimoys Spock is the Yin to Shatners Kirk-Yang, but for like fourteen hours.

In other, other news, I'm still working on Trekkie Sex Podcast Three, so if you care about Star Trek or sex at all then fucking send me some questions about your love life already: cepurquhart@gmail.com and if I havent answered ones youve asked then send them again because I'm a turd. bye.

New Site

2010-02-22T13:16:00.001-08:00

WWW.CHRISURQUHART.CA

Trekkie Sex Turns Its Back on Trek?

2010-02-16T18:09:00.000-08:00

I know I havent been keeping up on this shit, Im sorry. I just starting watching DS9 for the first time, so I will be having a lot to say pretty soon. Also, I started a new "professional" "non-Trek" blog, if youre interested and it is: here.

Trekkie Sex in Yr Dreams

2010-01-13T20:20:00.001-08:00

Just for the record, yesterday I actually had a wet dream about Captain Jean Luc Picard. I think it maybe had to do with this babelicious picture of JLP Linton drew for me but Im not even sure. I'm really sexually frustrated. Im not sure I mentioned this, but the last time I went to a sex toy store I actually came face to face with this fucking thing. Obviously I ran away shrieking and was unable to make any level headed purchases after that.

A recent convo with my friend..."Cindy."

Cindy: i need a vibrator

stat.

8:23 PM me: me too

stat

Cindy: i thought you bought one!

8:24 PM me: it sux

its a momrator

8:25 PM Cindy: ....

please tell me what THAT means

me: its a vibrator a mom would use

YOUR mom might use this one

Cindy: my mum had a better vibe than me

i found it.

Laydies can I get an amen? In other news Im almost 99% sure Im skipping the academic conference I was spose to speak at for the fucking Vancouver Star Trek Convention MY MOMZ GUNNA KILL ME!!!!11

Twin Towers

2010-01-05T13:50:00.001-08:00

Hi Internet, Happy New Year. Yeah, I know I havent been updating this fucking thing. Frankly Ive been too busy dressing up like a goth and barfing all over the place and watching documentaries about Tourettes syndrome teenz (here, youre welcome).

Now, in more important news: Everything I Need to Know About 9/11 I Learned from Star Trek.

I havent made any plushies recently. But I knit a scarf. Im back in Vancouver now also. Bye.

My Xmas Gift to You...

2009-12-29T16:10:00.000-08:00

Most hilarious trek porn ever!

Seasons Greetings Y'all!

2009-12-28T18:53:00.001-08:00

Pocket Troi: A dream....

2009-12-24T10:02:00.000-08:00

best gift eva: TROI ACTION FIGURE with tricorder, padd, portable computer and desktop viewer. Thanks, Jesse!

Baby Momma Troi

2009-12-17T16:40:00.000-08:00

I started watching Season 2, TNG online. What can I say about Season 2 Ep. 1 (The Child)? This Eppy is so fucking real!

Troi being space raped by sparkly Hutchinson-Gilford Progeria syndromey alien?
Troi orgasming during childbirth!
Weird pro-choice-ish sentiments from Troi after Worf decides she "must abort her fetus"?
Intro to Dr. Pulaski!
Worf offering to tuck Wesley in at night! Cutie Pie!

Loving life today. Namaste.

New Favourite Shirt

2009-12-17T11:45:00.001-08:00

Took this photo while sitting on the john.

Wallmart

2009-12-14T20:13:00.000-08:00

I feel like absolute dick tonight, I dont know why. Maybe it has to do with ice cream sandwich one. Or maybe ice cream sandwich two. Or, most likely, ice cream sandwich three, the gingerbread cookie i wanna die edition.

Today I was feinding for iron on embroidery patterns so I forced my Mother to drive me to Wallmart, Zellers, and the Eglington Mall (which is just a walking dead museum of old people nowadays). Just for the record I hate all of these places, so I think it was really a bizarre form of self abuse seeing as no embroidery patterns were actually purchased. Is it just me or does Wallmart=Rogue Borg Ship? In a weird, counter-intuitive sortof way? I guess I could flesh this idea out somewhat but frankly Id rather lie in my bed for fourteen hours a day and stop typing. bye.

Oh, also, I saw this Trek Xmas tree decoration in the store and almost bought it. Then I realized the hue of new Kirks shirt was embarrassingly off. Tsk.

BONE: You Will Be Assimilated

2009-12-11T08:04:00.000-08:00

Hi from Toronto, the coldest and dickliest city in the world. Seriously, all I do here is carb out and watch Jersey Shore. I guess its the holidays so I have a right.

The other night I was having an anxiety attack in the middle of the night so Linton put on the Borg special edition Trek DVD and I watched "I, Borg" (503). Does anyone else find that the Borg soothes them? There is something really calming about the species that just makes me feel "at home" and "together"???

Also, HUGH: TO BONE OR NOT TO BONE??
I definitely vote YES YES YES!

One More Tat Pic

2009-12-11T08:03:00.001-08:00

Talk about Trek-in' out Yr Dad!

2009-12-09T13:35:00.000-08:00

My good pal Jesse (who drew the banner for Trekkie Sex) just sent me the most righteous photos of him and his father with their NEW MATCHING TREK TATS! Holy Fucking Schwing! These photos are, without a doubt, the most hilarious andbest thing to invade my inbox in the last year or so. Dads and Trek are the best! It makes me want to revisit our Trek Out Yr Dad Section.

Also, if you would like to get your paws on this tattooed Star Trek Enthusiast you should check out his band this Sunday in Toronto:

The Slowest Runner In All The World (Brooklyn, NY / Montreal, QC)
@ THE GARRISON

1197 Dundas St. W. (west of ossington)

Pay-What-You-Can

10pm. Sharp.

PS. I'm also thinking about doing an Xmas podcast so send any questions to me at cepurquhart (at) gmail.com or I'll kill myself bye

Two of a Kind

2009-12-01T23:24:00.000-08:00

DURAS SISTAHS=HEATHER & ERICA FERRELL?
Linton, you are a fucking genius! Even though neither of the Duras sisters would fret over having abortions, that's for sure.

fuck you, VICE!

2009-12-01T00:09:00.000-08:00

Damnit! VICE Magazine beat me at my own schtick, posting the Ten Interesting Pictures of Dr. Spock Being Erotic. Cant the meanies just leave the geeks to Trek out in peace? I still dont know how I feel about VICE: I sortof want to write for them but I also sortof want to give them all genuine snuggles and gift them hamsters.

Also, to my credit, I used some of these Spock images before they did. Not that its a competition.

To Bone or Not to Bone...

2009-11-30T23:57:00.000-08:00

THE DURAS SISTAHS

Speaking of... would you let these ladies tug yer targ/bump your bat'leth?

To Con or Not to Con.....?

2009-11-30T23:45:00.000-08:00

I apologize for my lack of bloggering. I've spent my entire week eating bread, watching TNG and boning. Life rules. I also turned 23! One year closer to corpse.

In other news, I'm having a major dilema. I've been asked to read some of my writing at the Queens conference on Animality in the Humanities (don't ask) but the conference falls on the same weekend of the Vancouver Star Trek Convention!!!!

I have two choices:

Attend the conference, practice "public speaking", fly to Kingston (barrrrf), build professional portfolio/academic career
Stay in Vancouver, attend the Trekcon, seduce the Duras sisters, and give Nimoy a HJ

What do you think?

To Bone or Not to Bone...

2009-11-24T12:39:00.000-08:00

THE REGINALD BARCLAY EDITION!

wouldyahitit?

Post dedicated to my friend, Ivy.

My Brother Rules

2009-11-23T10:27:00.000-08:00

This is my brothers response to Why Data is the Most Sexually Frustrated member of TNG:

Data is the most sexually frustrated of all the Star Trek characters for a plethora of reasons.

We can surmise from ST; TNG and the movies that Data has had sex exactly two times. Once with Tasha Yar when they were looped on intergalactic space virus and once with the Borg Queen (no lube required.) Then, he is blown-up in the tremendously disappointing finale of Star Trek; Nemesis.

The number of times Wesley Crusher and Geordie LaForge get laid is ambiguous and up for debate. Did Wesley get with the Daulphin? (probably not.) Did he feel up Ashley Judd’s Judds? (I hope so.) Also, the academy is practically a poon party after hours. Where do you think that asshole cadet Locarno thought up reviving the Kolvoord Starburst maneuver? Answer: A Klingon kegger.

There is also the issue of Data having no emotions. Even after release, assuming he is fully functional like he so adamantly claims, he can never be satisfied. Sex to him is just another function akin to calculating the trajectory of an asteroid. The unique benefits of a good fucking are not available. Sure he never gets so horny he’ll fuck a worm-like alien like No. 1, but he’ll never experience a post-coital Riker-rush either. Yes, Riker is usually alone in bed when this happens, and his partner is obsessively scrubbing her skin raw in the bathroom and washing her vag in an effort to prevent STD transmission, but damn it, Will feels good. So good he might ramp up a shitastic trombone solo.

I digress. But for these reasons and more, Data must remain at the top of the sexual frustration scale.

A footnote to this retort; I have moved Worf higher up the scale in lieu of Star Trek; DS9, which I did not consider when initially composing this scale. It is important to consider the entire breadth of the ST canon and so I admit my mistake.

Dad of the Year

2009-11-20T20:58:00.000-08:00

Check out this dude who spoke only Klingon to his child for three years. Kinda makes me look like a puss for sticking it out in Extended French for my whole youth. Think of my squandered potential.

Star Trek Sexual Frustration Scale

2009-11-19T15:59:00.001-08:00

This chart was made by my bro, Keith! It is definitely up for debate! Also: sorry I haven't written shit, I'm busy fucking around and doing nothing.

Is Burning Man Better than Trek?

2009-11-15T22:45:00.001-08:00

My whole room smells like a rancid sweat-lodge and my ass muscles hurts constantly but other than that, my hot yoga has been going well. In other news, the afterburn party was rad. This old man dressed as a marching band leader stole my hula hoop and shook his rump for a good two hours. It was epic. But I was so tired I passed out for the entire day and missed the comicon. :(

An Elephant Never Forgets...

2009-11-13T15:10:00.001-08:00

This morning I went to sweep up the leaves in our greenhouse and I found this dude! My roommate said she made him for the Save the Ancient Forests protest and he's beautiful and majestic I'm glad he is living with us now.

This afternoon I'm watching TNG and planning my outfit for the Burning Man After Burn Party but so far all I have is fake eyelashes and *maybe* a pleather girdle.

I'm thinking about switching over this blog to Wordpress... thoughts? And how?

Burning Man After Party This Saturday

2009-11-12T06:47:00.001-08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
what am i gunna wear? So stoked!

To Bone or Not to Bone...

2009-11-11T19:27:00.000-08:00

Geordi Motherfuckin Laforge

Option a) with visor
Option b) without visor
Option c) on the beach, wasted, drinking coco no-nos

Where no loincloth hath gone before

2009-11-09T15:26:00.001-08:00

TREK SCHWING OF THE WEEK!
(thanks, Kaitlin!)

I would kill to see P. Stew live on stage. In London a few months ago my bro and I lined up for hours in the cold to see him in Hamlet but failed. In other news: I got out of bed today!

Bed-Bound

2009-11-07T11:07:00.000-08:00

I've been spending a lot of time in bed. A lot of time. Borderline aunt with cats and seasonal depressive disorder pass me the sad lamp and Doritos sort of stuff going on. Except I'm not really depressed at all, just lazy and fat and addicted to skype and hungover every morning pretty much. Anyway, I was just coming online to say:

HAPPY 100th POST!

Viewership is up 96.5% and I love each and every one of your internet eyeballs.Thanks for reading about my geeky ass life.

To Bone or Not to Bone....

2009-11-06T14:46:00.000-08:00

Lore

Would you let Lore pull your Noonien Soon? Would you let him be your Sugar Data? Discuss.

Bowling for Klingon Blood

2009-11-05T20:43:00.001-08:00

Here's a photo of me bowling from last night. And here's a videos of a bowling battle between Furries and Klingons in Atlanta. I'm actually not opposed to the idea of spending my future Friday nights at the bowling alley, it seems like its a colourful crew.

Sulu Bio

2009-11-05T18:41:00.000-08:00

Click here to see a reading of George Takei autobiography as read by Eugene Pack. I don't like how Pack is making fun of Sulu, I totally want to read this book unironically. Apparently it talks about him picking strawberries as a teenager! And bitch fighting Shatner! Bliss.

(Thanks for the link, Claire!)

The Literary Trekkie

2009-11-05T13:05:00.000-08:00

As I might have mentioned I started my Masters at UBC this fall in writing, so I have been making lots of writerly friends, many of whom are alcoholics, and others who are also Trekkies. Here is a rhyming couplet poem by one of said friends, whose name is Taylor Brown-Evans, and whose stories are better than mine:

Convention

“nuqneH,” knot in throat, fake fangs collecting spit mangle the hello, she doesn’t hear.

“nuqneH?” his body shakes under pvc shoulder pads, sweat under make-up smears,

“nuqneH?” she turns surprised, didn’t see him, her wig slaps his face as she spins,

“nuqneh,” he feels Brian stare at them from the shadow of Ferengi ears, hears his grin,

“tlhIngan Mah!” real eyes behind the head-ridges, she looks at him, he feels inadequate,

“tlhIngan Mah...” sounds flat now, fake, the electricians tape on his arms looks third rate,

tlhIngan Mah used to be enough, made him feel good, a borrowed community from space

tlhIngan Mah, yelled to Brian, an inside joke, warming occlusion, just us in this race

tlhIngan Mah, sacred till now to no one but them, until he spotted this girl at TrekCon,

“tlhIngan Mah,” Brian said from under his ears “you gotta talk to that hottie in Klingon!”

“nuqjatlh?” she slurps around fake teeth, but he’s lost now, two of his three phrases used,

nuqjatlh baffles him, he knew it, but he can’t think, notices instead her eyes are blue,

“nuqjatlh” Brian stares, she stares, as do men in booths selling models of the Enterprise,

“Heghlu’meH qaq jajvam” she offers, and she’s right: today is a good day to die.

“nuqneH,” hello’s all he’s got. His forehead’s beginning to slide down his face, besides

tlhIngan Mah’s lost its lustre, seems empty, just hours in front of TV, mesmerised,

“nuqneH,” she says patiently, but with everyone watching, his guts fall to his feet,

tlhIngan Mah forgotten, friendship forsaken, he can feel how Brian loves this defeat,

“nuqneH,” takes out fake teeth, strings of spit, “nice costume” he manages to say

“nuqjath?” she replies, looks confused “Je m’excuse, mais je ne parle pas anglais,”

TREK CON IN THE HORIZON! YIPEE!

2009-11-03T15:23:00.001-08:00

Yes! Vancouver Star Trek Convention Dates announced: June 25th-27th, 2010

Regular Tickets: 179 for entry 359 for GOLD PACKAGE which includes:

1) The absolute best reserved seats in the main theatre

2) Complimentary in-person autographs with great guests including LEONARD NIMOY, BARBARA MARCH, GWYNYTH WALSH

3) First to get autographs!

4) Complimentary admission to our SATURDAY NIGHT DESSERT AND COCKTAIL PARTY! "Mix and mingle with fellow fans and selected guests, plus surprise cabaret entertainments featuring some fantastic Star Trek celebrities. This event is EXCLUSIVE for Gold Weekend Patrons and definitely not to be missed!"

5) Pre-Registration Fun

6) Wristband access: we have special color coded wristbands and collectible lanyard credentials for GOLD Package Holders: once you get set you don’t need to wait again!

7) Admission to the vendors room
QUESTIONS: How the fuck am I going to raise this money? And who is coming with me?

TakeiATTACK

2009-11-02T23:28:00.001-08:00

I'm seriously pissed at all y'all right now... how has nobody ever told me about takeiATTACK? This is my new favourite band of all time.... I mean don't even know if it's a 'band' or just some fucked up trekkie dude making techno songs called Little Baby Chickens in his mom's basement. Either way it's BLOWING MY MIND OUT OF THIS UNIVERSE!!!! Check it out.

To Bone or Not to Bone....

2009-11-02T17:36:00.000-08:00

Ensign Wesley Crusher

Boom-shaka-laka. Discuss.

Vulcan Hoop Dreamz

2009-11-01T02:54:00.000-08:00

HAPPY WEEN TREK LOVERS!
Horray for binge eating processed cheese in the village dressed as Saavik.
God I really need a new uniform and I also need to get laid bye.

Help! It's Ween Time!

2009-10-31T17:02:00.001-07:00

I know y'all are getting bored of my mothafucking sexy trek outfit but I'm doin' it again for Halloween tonight and I don't care! I like the way it makes my boobs look and frankly I cant afford another costume. BUT I NEED YOUR HELP. I bought Spock ears to "spice things up" this year, but I can't figure out which female Vulcan to channel:

Valeris

or
Saavik?
Essentially it is a battle of Kirstie Alley versus Kim Cattrall! Tough call! Also, I'm not going to be wearing a wig but I will attempt Vulcan eyebrow makeup. Help! State your cases and why!

Today Whilst Dild Shopping Online...

2009-10-28T23:24:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry, but could this vibrator look any more like a dead baby fetus?

Just Say Yes

2009-10-26T23:35:00.000-07:00

I dont give a dick what the Star Trek PSAs say! Drinking and drugs do work! Today I was totally depressed about money and loans and my shitty classes and all I had to do was a) drink and b) do drugs and then ****POOF!*** Like a magic fairy lifting dust from my shouldertop all my problems just wonderfully whisted away*

*ya im still baked

To Bone or Not to Bone

2009-10-25T11:44:00.000-07:00

Guinan

Would you or would you not? Why not? Why? And would it be nice? Discuss.

Who wants to breed with me?

2009-10-24T21:32:00.000-07:00

This photo sets my ovaries aflame with thoughts I should not be having at 22.
They also come in red.

Songwriting and Brain Tumors

2009-10-24T18:00:00.000-07:00

I have to write a song for my elective "Lyric and Libretto" class and I'm completely fucking fucked. I sat in the park for like two hours today with my concertina and nothing. Song writing sucks! I'm thinking I could just write a Trek related song? Any suggestions?

In other news it is exactly two years since my mom had brain surgery. I called her to congratulate her on not dying and ruining my life and I'm pretty sure she was a) wasted b) hilarious. The following is an excerpt from our conversation:

me: Mom, I'm screwed for this song writing class.
momma che: Stop whining!
me: I'm not whining!
momma che: Yes you are! You chose to do this course. Just write a song about me. Call it Live for Today.

In conclusion my mother is Bon Jovi.

Dungeons and Dragons

2009-10-23T09:52:00.000-07:00

Okay, I just had the gnarliest dream and if I dont share it with the world I'm going to feel like a perv (more than normal). The set-up was a giant RPG real life Dungeons and Dragons scene where I was dressed up like an elf and basically kicked the shit out of everyone playing. But then suddenly to my dismay (delight?) the game basically turned into an enormous motherfucking orgy.

What does this mean? Has geekery really penetrated me this deeply?

Also: does anyone want to start a D&D group here in Vancouver? I miss playing it. I promise there wont be any orgies as I'm much too awkward IRL.

Klingon Sexy

2009-10-22T21:25:00.001-07:00

Does anyone else remember in "Yesterday's Enterprise" (Season 3, TNG) when Worf is drinking prune juice with Guinan and describing how he cant "be with" anyone on the Enterprise because the women there are (pause) "too fragile"?
And then Guinan insists that some of the women would actually find him "tame"?

This scene grosses me out for the following reasons:
a) It makes me not want to have sex with a Klingon anymore because I might rip in half
b) It makes me think of Worf's gargantuan penile girth
b) It makes me think that Troi must have one BEAST of a vag

The Ultimate YouTube Video

2009-10-22T12:51:00.001-07:00

For those of you who have been digging hamsters as much as I am, welcome to the ultimate in awesome:

STAR TREK HAMSTERS
ps im not even sure if this video is racist or not?

Hamster Report 2

2009-10-21T14:31:00.000-07:00

I woke up today pretty depressed today after having slept about eighteen hours. Usually I blame these situations on my "mood imbalances" but I'm getting kindof sick of doing that and have begun to medicate myself with more hamsters and less sedatives. I go to MR PETS almost on a daily basis now and today they even had a NEW BREED:

Chinese Dwarf Hamster Facts:

Three color combos: Normal/Wild type, Dominant Spot and Black Eyed White
often used as lab testing animals
often considered 'rat-like'
they are my best friends

Then this weird old man with licorice hair came up to me at MR PETS and this is what happened:

guy: Gettin' a hamster, huh?
me: Yeah I wish...
guy: They're a whole lot of work!
me: (excited) Really? Do you have one?
guy: ...no
me: oh. bye.

This music video combines my two loves: Britney and Chinese dwarfs. bye.

The Boy Who Cried Worf

2009-10-20T22:35:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned I am going through season three and "Deja Q" just popped on. Can I just say:
I FUCKING HATE Q!
I just dont understand why people like him, he fucking sucks! I get that he is kinda hilarious, but he undermines everything I like about TNG. He's too obviously funny, too comical. He calls into question the whole show, making it look like a joke, and making all of our lives a big joke.

Mintakans

2009-10-20T17:57:00.000-07:00

I dunno, but doesn't Troi and Riker dressed as Mintakans, proto-Vulcan humanoids, seem kinda racist to y'all too?

Trek Bone of the Week

2009-10-19T18:57:00.000-07:00

Miles Edward O'Brien?

Question of the week: to bone or not to bone Miles Edward O'Brien?Why or why not? How would you do it? Where? And do you think it would be nice?

Holadink

2009-10-19T18:41:00.000-07:00

Only Geordi LaForge would simulate a holodeck scenario where he would get rejected after drinking coco no-nos on the beach and trying to grab some chicks' titties. Here.

I've been watching so much Season 3 (TNG) as of late, I'm trying to use trek instead of drugs and alcohol and so far it's working. Troi having a panic attack in Who Watches the Watcher? (Season 3, ep 4). Troi can pretty much do anything in that sassy season three version of her purple unitard and im not going to complain, amiright?

In non-trek news, I've taken up eating 75% raw food in my diet and let me tell you it has been bliss for my bowels. Follow my bowel movements by adding me on twitter.

http://twitter.com/trekkiesex

Trek Tits

2009-10-16T18:55:00.000-07:00

Forgot to mention I wanted these Star Trek pasties too. But only for Burning Man of course...

Trekkie Meerkats Forever

2009-10-16T18:16:00.000-07:00

In a month I turn 23, and while I realize this is still a "baby" in the eyes of most old people it still depresses the shit out of me. You might have noticed that when I'm depressed I usually try and fix this problem by doing one of four things: 1) binge eating 2) buying craft supplies and/or stickers 3) taking sedatives or 4) lusting after weird things on the internet.

Today is internet lusting day.

Here is my new birthday list:

New Yar themed Sexy Trek Uniform (we all know the old one is classic, but it's getting a little "done")
Star Trek Corset
Hamster
OMG
More of the orig movies of DVD
And, of course, motherfucking Star Trek Meerkat Dolls.

Wrath of Riker Computer Game

2009-10-09T18:32:00.000-07:00

See, I'm not the only one who thinks Rikes is a psychopath douche!
Play the amazing game here.

Hamster Report

2009-10-09T18:02:00.000-07:00

If you've been hanging out with me recently (which is rare seeing as I have no friends) then you would know I have become obsessed with hamsters. Today I realized there is a pet shop three minutes from my house and I spent four hours looking through their selection (which wasn't even that vast).

I don't know what it is that appeals to me so viscerally about hamsters all of a sudden, but I'm not one to question passion. Furbies, tribbles, tamagotchis, I love all of those guys. I found out today that there are 24 different species of hamsters.

Top Three Breeds of Hamster Awards:

Winter White Russian Dwarf Hamster (specific breed of dwarf hamster)
Teddy Bear Hamster (Agora Hamster)
Common Dwarf Hamster (Phodopus Hamster)

Hamster Facts:

"Hamster" comes from a German word meaning "hoarder"
Hamsters have to ingest their feces in order to properly get all nutrients from their food
Some breeds fight when put together in a cage but some get will along
Some hamsters will eat yogurt

Famous/ Creative Hamsters:

Once Upon a Hamster TV show
The Hamster Dance

Scorpions

2009-10-01T23:36:00.000-07:00

Today I held a scorpion in my hand for 10 seconds. These two cheerleader blond girls with megaphones were yelling WHO WANTS TO HOLD A SCORPION? on campus and how could I say no? It was blue and it belonged to this man with a bald head who said "Doesn't have one" when I asked what the Scorpion's name was. The bald scorpion keeper then added,"Would you try and name a thing like that if you were me?" He also had both a taranchula and a long snake in his backpack.

The funny thing about this experience was that it didn't frighten me in any way. My performance impressed the cheerleaders and they entered me into a draw to win a blackberry phone because they thought I was so brave. If only real life consisted of constantly holding scorpions then I would be rolling in blond scorpion wielding cheerleader pussy all the time.

Five, Four, Three, Two, One....

2009-09-30T13:30:00.000-07:00

If you were anything like me when you were a child (over-emotional, anxiety prone, queerbag bed-wetter) then you were a fan of the Care Bears, and not in any ironic sortof way.

Anyway, you can imagine how delighted I was when a Star Trek-Inspired Care Bear Epi fell directly into my inter lap (The Thing That Came to Stay/Space Bubbles, 1988).

"S.S. Friendship"

LOL! Thanks, internet. A dream cum tru!

Homeless + Lovin' It

2009-09-25T15:19:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, I'm in the Westender. but not for anything that makes me creative or funny. bye.

Down Under

2009-09-23T00:00:00.000-07:00

I just got some weird spammy forward email shit about a political petition in Australia from my ex "boyfriend" from Berlin, also known as STDaniel (Who you might just remember). Of course, upon receiving the email I had an instant anxiety attack, and then promptly banished the message into the deep loins of my garbage bin to prevent myself from scanning the mass received text for secret messages to me.

I'm sorry, but don't people know their internet breakup etiquette?

#1. Do not email unless you are saying:
a) I still love you
b) I'm drunk and depressed and I really love you
c) I hate you so fucking much!!!!
d) I may have given you an STD

#2. Do not email them AT ALL!!!
Delete the person from all your listserves, social networking sites, ESPECIALLY if you were a dick to them about Star Trek.

#3. I fucking hate Australians:
I know this is not an etiquette lesson, but I seriously do fucking hate Australians (and Australia). I have to say it out loud! Last month at Burning Man, some Aussie gave me a balloon filled with "helium" and I only found out once I was passed out on the floor of a moving vehicle shaped like a giant bunny rabbit that it was actually a Whippet. THEN the mothafucker tried to stick his tongue down my throat. Good thing Terra was there to beat the shit out of him. But seriously, this would only happen in the company of an Australian.

In conclusion, Australians: why do you ruin my life? You are officially banned from Trekkie Sex and it's not my fault you did this to yourselves.

Parents and New Friends in Life

2009-09-22T14:12:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of my parents I made when they are rabbits talking to me online. Two nights ago we thought my dad had a heart attack, then we thought he had gout.

Yesterday a man with no teeth called Johnny tried to take me out for an iced Americano. I asked him if he was "Johnny be Good" or "Johnny be Bad" and he said "I don't know but I sure am thirsty!"

Does anyone know where to find the Online RPG "Realmz" online? I want to become a half-elf half-human in another world so I only have to feel like full me half the time.

Hot as Hell

2009-09-13T22:51:00.000-07:00

Miss me guys? Probably not because nobody reads this unless you're my mom.

But if you're not my mom, hi! Thanks for sticking with the blog! I'm finally back from a drawn out, drug-laced hippie binge in Portland-Nevada (also known as my annual Burning Man Pilgrimage) and I survived! I've even got the pelvic bruises to prove it.*

* Never get a pelvic massage from a woman wearing crystallized breast pasties!

Anyway, I want to do a fire-themed podcast to talk about about the burn, but I need some more questions from my beloved sexy trekkers. Trekkie Sex wants to know:

What makes your pelvis burn?
Do you want to know where to get it fixed (been there)?
Favourite Trek-splosion?
Etc, anything really...

Send questions, comments or viagraspam to me at: cepurquhart@gmail.com.

Trekcast Two: Bones and Boners

2009-08-21T10:57:00.001-07:00

LISTEN HERE!

With all the fades, FX, and sound stingers you can handle! Hope you like it even though I'm hungover again.

Send me questions and comments at cepurquhart@gmail.com or I'll cry

For Future Reference....

2009-08-17T13:57:00.000-07:00

I've been getting a lot of (like two) emails from both non-Trekkies as well as über- Trekkers who listened to the last cast and one side thinks it needs more Trek and the other more Sex. What do you think? Answer the anonymous poll to the right!

Can you dig it?

2009-08-13T16:53:00.000-07:00

"Hi Chris, can you please open up the secret mystical trap-door in the Quaker temple we are excavating and then just pass me that fist sized bone protruding from the top-soil?" - My Boss

No big deal, guys, just another day at the office!

Oh yeah and then Quaker babies made me homemade fucking ice cream!!!!1

Geekierarchy

2009-08-09T19:20:00.000-07:00

Stumbled on this gem of a chart on the World Wide Web! Where do you rank?

Click the link and scroll to the bottom for a bigger version. And yeah, I do realize it is under a thread entitled "badly photoshopped naked klingons" don't judge me.

Men Under 21

2009-08-04T15:53:00.000-07:00

Three million years ago I did some dumb colouring book thing about old men over 28 I was obsessed with. I've been thinking that now I should really make one about boys under 21 that I have touched inappropriately this month. First comes Alok the homeless boy at Rainbow, then that British dude who was like 12, and then two nights ago I spent five hours on a Greyhound bus spooning with a 19 year old ex crack addict turned Christian missionary named Mitchell who told me that I was "truly, truly an angel of the Lord Jesus Christ"

WHy am I doing this????

Also, for those of you who have been with me since the beginning (Kaare, Joel, Mark, Mark's Mom, Joel's Mom, etc...) I did see Mr. B for the first time in 5 years the other day and followed him for over twenty minutes without him seeing me. He is still with his young Asian gf. I also think he has a hearing aid now and it makes me feel old and weird and upset.

These aren't geeky things I am doing they are weird and pervy even if they are just kissing.

"Choose Life, Choose Raw Food"

2009-08-03T19:11:00.001-07:00

At the Rainbow Gathering we camped with the Raw Foodists and, I'm not going to lie to you, raw food is deliciously tasty and makes you poop (in a good way). The Foodists also pray all over your food for like an hour, which they say helps your digestion. After the soul-crushing drumstick binge that was my trip to Northern Ontario this weekend, I started googling some raw food recipes to regain (the illusion of) control in my life.

This video on raw food is, without a doubt, one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time. Is it a joke? I don't even know!

Also, I didn't have time to finish the podcast because I was too busy eating drumsticks but I need more questions! Send them to me! Cepurquhart@gmail.com!

Homophobia is Not Logical, Captain!

2009-07-29T18:20:00.000-07:00

Finally! An article combining my top two passions: Star Trek and equal marriage rights! Na-ma-ste.

I'm going to be recording my second podcast this weekend from my treehouse in the Northern Ontario wilderness so send in any questions, comments or ideas to me please!

In other news I just spent an hour listening to the Prodigy and binge eating chocolate chips from my mom's baking hosier, but what the fuck else is new.

It's Evolution, Baby.

2009-07-27T16:58:00.000-07:00

Me holding my 2009 Burning Man ticket. Theme for 2009: Evolution!

For those of you who don't know me IRL, my day job is working as an Archaeologist for the government AND I just spent three hours listening to a musical about on Darwinian theory so, yeah, I'm pretty stoked on this!!!!!!

Ready to put the 'FIT' back in 'Survival of the fittest'! The 'SEX' back in 'asexual reproduction!' The 'HOMO' back in barnacle homology!

Trekkie Sex: Podcast One! Hip Hip Hooray!

2009-07-25T20:01:00.000-07:00

LISTEN HERE!

It is the moment of truth! The first ever podcast available online! Just click on the above link to instantly download the iTunes file. Let me know if it takes you to warp 983983939.

Music:

Party Time (a Womyn's Love) by Lesbians on Ecstasy

Bullshit by Ssion

Bossy by Kelis

Hustler by Simian Mobile Disco

Link to Terra's Blog!

Want to be in the next cast? Write me at cepurquhart@gmail.com

***

Also: if anyone knows a free site that would host the whole MP3 on its own URL please help!

Quch qoS [Casey]

2009-07-20T10:43:00.000-07:00

The Original Moon Walk

2009-07-19T09:15:00.000-07:00

Buzz Aldrin rapping with Snoop Dog in an attempt to 'make space sexy again' is, admittedly, some funny ass shit. But since when do we have to 'make space sexy again?' Am I living in a dream bubble? Does anyone in their right mind think they are "too sexy" for space (and, if so, why am I not devoting my blog to them?????)

In other news, I am living in a complete shit box of a basement apartment and it's fucking up my love life. I tried to take someone back to my place two nights ago and realized that it was completely coated with a layer of centipede dirt, rice cakes, and stray anti-depressant bottles. Also, for some undisclosed reason my conspiracy theory obsessed roommate had laid down weird Asian porno newspaper ads across out entire bathroom floor as though we are puppies that need to be housebroken.

WHY ISNT ANYONE SENDING IN QUESTIONS ABOUT THEIR LOVE LIVES FOR MY PODCAST????? WHY DOESNT ANYBODY LOVE ME????????????